I have a story that I'd like to tell you...a true story...and it happened today.
Lately, I have had so much on my mind. I have a job where a lot of transition is happening at the moment, I'm working a couple of events at the same time on the side, my family just sold our house, I have to choose to follow them to another state or set out on my own, and my health has not been well to top it off. Needless to say, I've prayed more this week than usual. But on the other hand, I've ashamedly felt the stress despite praying about it all.
You see...Though I may be praying about it, I'm still trying to control things...do it my way...the way I know how. I've been working non-stop, sleeping little, and making more lists than I can count. I know that God's Hand is in it all that I'm involved in and they are God-ordained missions, but I never fully surrendered it all to Him. You know that whole "taking time to breathe" thing I talked about in my last post? Yeah....Hasn't been happening...do as I say, not as I do, please....
Then today happened...I read an article written by Gloria Copeland this morning called, "4 Habits of Prospering Christians". It really kick started me and got me to thinking. How worried am I? How anxious am I? Did I see God as my source? And was I in expectance of miracles? This was only the beginning of my change of mind. But I didn't think on this long enough, my day got switched up on me again, and I was back to worrying about how I was going to get everything I needed to get done done.
So I'm driving and I'm thinking...in translation: I'm worrying... But while I'm in transit to pick up my brother, my radio turns on randomly playing music that I have on my phone via Bluetooth. It just happens to select "Martha and Mary" from the Album "Speak Out" by All of Us. The very fist line is, "Martha, she might have got a lot done, but, Mary, she chose love." And I just broke. Sometimes, I get so wrapped up into what needs to get done, that I forget to choose love, to choose peace, to choose Him! I turn into a Martha focused on tasks, and forget to be a Mary and bask in the love He has for us! I lose focus on why I do what I do and keep my eyes on the what I do.
I'm not saying that forgetting tasks is what needed to happen, but my focus needed to change. Instead of feeling stress and anxiety, I needed to choose to surrender to Love! Well, guess what! God is LOVE! And He is infinitely wise, so He knows exactly how I can get everything done and is willing to guide me if I let Him! Just reading Psalms 32:8 tells me this:
"I will instruct you in the way you shall go: I will guide you with my eye."
He is incredibly strong, and I don't have to rely on my own energy or abilities either! All I have to do is actively choose Love each and every day, and He will give me all the assistance I need!
So tonight, I am going to sleep in peace, not worrying, but choosing love. The encouragement in doing this all in itself brings me energy for tomorrow.
Happy pilgrimming, Friends!
P.S. Speak Out by All of Us is an amazing album by the way! It ministers to my soul every time I turn it on. It was recorded by a group of insanely talented students from Morningstar University just this year! You can find it on iTunes! If you don't buy the album, at least download "Martha and Mary"